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Be a good example

my dad, before he became an alcoholic.

my dad, before he became an alcoholic.

my dad after he became an alcoholic, this pic was taken about 7 years ago

my dad after he became an alcoholic, this pic was taken about 7 years ago

Iv’e always heard people say that they love their children so much, that they would die for them,which is a sweet thought i guess, but most of the time you are not going to have to do that. what you will need to do is live for them. My dad was such a wonderful person when i was younger, he worked really hard, loved God and his family, and when my mother left us, he took on the burden of raising 3 daughters on his own. He did okay for a little while, until he started to realize my mother was not coming back. He started drinking, not a lot at first but it became more and more, and over the years i have seen this man that i love so dearly, who was once my hero, turn into a bitter shell of the person he used to be. I really idolized my dad, and as time went on i wanted to do everything like him, walk like him, talk like him, act like him, and DRINK like him. My dad never did anything without a beer, if he was mowing he had to have beer, camping he had to have a lot of beer, the same with fishing, working, watching t.v., or anything else. I grew up watching and doing this, and thinking it was normal, and any other way was stupid, and guess what i turned out to be, an alcoholic. Your children watch you and pay attention, now i know not all children turn out like their parents, whether good or bad, but the thing is if you love them like you say you do, then why take a chance. We should be being the best examples we can for our children. Think about it this way, if you come home and say i have had a hard day, and the first thing you do is grab a beer, then you are teaching your kids when things get hard it helps to drink. my dad has never found drinking to be a serious problem, I remember one time when i was 13 my dad realized i had been stealing some of his beer, well he came up with this great idea that he would teach me a lesson about drinking by giving me a drink, so he poured 2 shots of mezcal tequila, one for him and one for me, he took his, i took mine, he threw up, i asked for another, and you know what is sad he still jokes about it to this day, even after all the problems alcohol has caused me. Now my father has lost everything, his job where he worked for 33 years, his wife, his home, his license, his health and himself. It breaks my heart to see him in this condition, and he still says theres nothen wrong with drinken some beer. I am a very lucky person, i was able to come out of my addiction, even though it was so deeply ingrained in me, that i had to relearn everything. I was lucky because so many people just can not change their way of thinking, it is all they know and most of the time its all they wanna know. Its like spending your whole life knowing that the sky is blue and then having everyone around you saying no your colors are all wrong, the sky is nowhere near blue. your children live by example, so show them how much you love them every day, by being the best example you can be. Just telling them how to act is not enough, actions speak louder than words.

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28 responses

  1. Love the last few lines of this! It’s so true, my parents asked me once why I don’t drink at holiday gatherings, I just told them that first if all I don’t need alcohol to enjoy the holidays with my kids and I don’t want them to think that is what you are supposed to do on holidays. It should be about spending time together.

    Like

    May 15, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    • I completely agree, before I had completely cut my mother off, we would spend some time at her house on holidays, but we stopped that to because she couldnt stay sober, even on christmas and I did not want my kids around that.

      Like

      May 15, 2014 at 9:32 pm

  2. Momz Happy Hour

    very much true. excellent post! love the pics….and… you’re an awesome example for your kids may I just add. 🙂 only a mom whose truely doing this can write this and you are and have.

    Like

    May 16, 2014 at 8:42 am

    • Ohh thanks so much sweetie.

      Like

      May 16, 2014 at 8:50 am

      • Momz Happy Hour

        not a problem 🙂

        Like

        May 16, 2014 at 10:19 am

  3. Caught your comment at Opinionated Man’s place, mx4b. Wasn’t expecting to encounter such a touching post when I came here. Beautiful. Thank you.
    Since you aren’t a fan of feminism };-)>, I think you’ll really like my new book, perhaps even more so after having read this post. You can have a read of the fantastic test reader comments, to see if you are interested: http://navigator1965.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/the-book-fairy-waved-her-magic-wand-the-mirror-for-sale-at-barnes-noble/
    If you are, no need to buy it, just email me at themirrorbooks@gmail.com and I’ll reply with a .pdf copy. Sadly, even when fathers try to be the best example that they can be, they are deliberately thwarted by the feminist family “justice” system.
    OM’s a great guy–I’ve a lot of time for him. Glad to have found you there.
    Cheers.

    Like

    May 16, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    • Thank you so much, and I would really like to read your book.

      Like

      May 16, 2014 at 2:26 pm

  4. dbgb1986

    Well put. Your honesty is a jewel in the blogosphere.

    Like

    May 16, 2014 at 10:11 pm

  5. This really touches me and I think it’s a topic that’s not talked about enough. I was just telling my friend the other day how grateful I am that my kids will never have the memory of me holding a drink or glass of wine. That’s what I grew up with and it’s the only way I knew how to cope with the hard stuff in life. Thanks for being a good example to your kids – hopefully we can both change the cycle.

    Like

    May 18, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    • Thank you, unfortunately one of my children will remember, but it will be a very distant memory

      Like

      May 18, 2014 at 2:38 pm

  6. Your children have a wonderful mother!

    Like

    May 19, 2014 at 11:19 am

  7. Truth

    Like

    October 1, 2014 at 8:40 pm

  8. Great post, we should be the best example to our kids, even it is not easy all the time.

    Like

    October 1, 2014 at 11:14 pm

  9. I couldn’t help but notice that you and your dad have the same kind eyes.
    You’re an amazing and resilient young woman, Diana. What a great example to your kiddos! xo

    Like

    October 2, 2014 at 6:44 am

    • Thankyou so much, my dad is definitely a kind soul he has just lost his way. I hope I can help lead him back, he was always there for me afterall

      Liked by 1 person

      October 2, 2014 at 11:16 am

      • The unconditional love and support you provide will provide a great path for the way back. xo

        Like

        October 2, 2014 at 11:18 am

      • Thanks sweetie 🙂

        Like

        October 2, 2014 at 11:20 am

  10. I love the wisdom that most of us won’t have to die for our kids, just live for them. Inspirational post, D.

    Like

    October 4, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    • Thankyou sweetie, I just know from being around so many drug addicts in the past, if someone says they arent being a good parent, the first thing they say is dont tell me im not a good parent I would die for my kids. Its just a cop-out.

      Like

      October 4, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      • I love how you keep it real, and call others to also. =)

        You know what? Shoot me an email if you’re interested in guest authoring. Holisticwayfarer at gmail. No obligation.

        Diana

        Like

        October 4, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      • Wow thanks i’ll do that

        Like

        October 4, 2014 at 12:56 pm

  11. Hey Diane,
    I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. I know you have been nominated before but your blog is very inspiring and I wanted to nominate you myself. Check it out when you get time http://jcceewatkinsbarney.com/2014/10/04/blog-awards-alert/

    Like

    October 4, 2014 at 4:47 pm

  12. As I read this, I kept thinking that Ive read it before…. and then I realized it said it was from october 1, 2014. I still think it is a beautiful post the second time reading it. I really like the idea of living for your kids. They are like sponges…. being a good example is the best thing you can do for them. I only hope that my flaws don’t get transferred over to Lily.

    Like

    October 9, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    • Lol yeah I reposted it cause I have a lot of new followers that probably havent seen it, flaws can be fixed plus some things about ourselves that we see as flaws are really blessings in disguise

      Liked by 1 person

      October 9, 2014 at 10:03 pm

      • 🙂 It was just that it was enough time between the first time I read it to the second to make it seem brand new but with the feeling of almost deja vu. And thank you! I always like your perspective on things!

        Like

        October 10, 2014 at 8:01 am

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