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Drop The Excuses, From an Addict

th (11)20140628_135531Let me start by saying that i know a lot of people will not like this post,but oh well it really needs to be said. anyone who has read much of my blog, knows that i am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, you would also know that i do not say things like well i had a disease so its not my fault. But i have seen more and more people here lately, who dont take responsibility for their own actions because addiction has been labeled a disease, which is not something i agree with.
A disease in my mind is not something that you have the power to control, for example cancer. you can not wake up and say i dont want to have cancer any more, i am sick of this disease and then poof you dont have cancer anymore, but you can do that with addiction. people seldom do, but it can be done. people (especially addicts) use anything they can as an excuse. and because people call addiction a disease that gives the addict a (its not my fault card). I remember when i had just gotten sober, i had 28 days clean, that night i went to an aa meeting which went well, until i heard someone say if you relapse its okay, it happens to all of us. BOOM there it was my excuse to use, the next day i was drunk. it devastated my husband and family, and as if that wasnt bad enough i did this 3 days before my wedding day. I thank God every day that my husband didnt listen to all the people who said i would never change, and that he had the courage to marry me. and i think it is safe to say that anyone who had their doubts about me at that time is now very glad that darrell and i got married. anyway my point is i saw an excuse and i used it. I think that all of the labels we put on things now really does more harm than good, because once something has a name it is considered wrong to say anything bad about the person behind the label. So if i were to tell another addict they are selfish, inconsiderate, and that they are the one to blame for their problems, people would come from every direction to tell me how i dont know what im talking about, and that it is not their fault it is the disease. Sometimes in life you have to admit that you are the one to blame and that you are the only one who can fix the problems that you created. I will leave you with one of the best pieces of advice i have ever received, when i quit using my husband looked at me and said always be true to yourself, because if you are true to yourself, let go of the excuses, and stop trying to put the blame somewhere else it makes messing up a lot harder.

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75 responses

  1. Nice post mommyx4boys I am a person with an addiction problem as well, Please check my latest post about AA on my blog when you get a chance. http://ourshirtsrock.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/is-a-a-and-12-steps-the-only-way/

    Like

    April 2, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    • I will check it out, right after i get the kids fed.

      Like

      April 2, 2014 at 3:31 pm

  2. Momz Happy Hour

    First of all, if people don’t like my posts, I always say they no longer have to read my blog… simple as that… although I love my readers dearly… I don’t write to please anyone..I do it to vent, bitch and whine, talk about issues that mean a lot to me, talk about my kids and such …so, don’t you worry about what or how you write… if it makes you feel better and it needs to be said – you go girl! 🙂 2nd… awesome post… i love your honesty and boldness… I too know all about this subject and have been completely recovered , so yay for us! 🙂 so happy God gave us a new start to life and we’re doing wonderful. Congrats on your recovery! One day at a time…

    Like

    April 2, 2014 at 5:18 pm

    • Thanks girl, that is pretty much the way i look at it to, i write what i have experienced and what i know with the hopes that it may help someone along the way.

      Like

      April 2, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      • Momz Happy Hour

        agreed..and that’s all you have to explain or worry about. 🙂

        Like

        April 3, 2014 at 8:28 am

  3. An important post. As the mother of an addict I struggle between feeling sorry for my son because he seems caught up in something he can’t overcome, and angry and disappointed because he doesn’t seem to be able to overcome it. I think a lot of addicts, including my son, are self-medicating, and if they had the meds or the healing they needed, they would no longer use. So it seems like a disease. On the other hand, I can see how the believe that relapse is part of the process has allowed him and myself to excuse the relapses time and time again. So I’m coming around to a similar point of view–finally: no more excuses.

    Like

    April 2, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    • It is very hard not to make excuses for the ones you love, i am going through that right now with my father who means the world to me but he is an alcoholic and has lost everything because of it. A job he worked at for 34 years, his wife, his home, and his dignity. It is tempting for mee to say its not his fault and blame everyone else but b. would not help him in the long run. Also I’m not saying some people don’t need help, just that society should stop giving addicts the excuses we want, to continue to use. I wish you the best of luck with your son and i truly hope he finds the peace that sobriety brings.

      Like

      April 2, 2014 at 5:38 pm

  4. motherhendiaries

    Excellent advice, mommyX4boys… addiction or no addiction, each of us carries his own load through life and must own our mistakes and failures the same as we are proud to own our successes. I agree completely.

    This advice extends well beyond living with an addict. Abusive behavior takes many forms, and the enabler over time learns to perfect the art of “mistaken kindness.” It comes from a good place, actually – it is done out of love, loyalty, embarrassment or even perhaps because we become mentally and emotionally exhausted living with abusive behavior (addiction, some forms of mental illness, etc).

    We are so keen to give others a break that we really do sweeten the medicine to the point where it is no longer medicine at all. The addict – or anyone with a dysfunctional behavior pattern – can take spoon after spoon after spoon of sugar (it becomes another addiction, actually) and learn nothing but that others will continue to cut them a break and they can forever delay their appointment with Reality. It is in all of us to become the enabler the same as, I believe, it is in all of us to become the addict. Is it a disease? Perhaps. Is it preventable? Yes. Can it be cured? Absolutely.

    But it starts with taking responsibility and owning up to whatever part we play in that dysfunctional cycle. Thank you, as always, for another brutally honest and insightful post!

    Like

    April 3, 2014 at 4:09 am

    • Thank you motherhen, and you are absolutely right this message gos beyond just addiction

      Like

      April 3, 2014 at 5:06 am

  5. Art Mowle

    I agree, in a sense. Speaking for me, which is the only person I am qualified to speak for, I used alcoholism as an excuse for many years. I could have certainly done a better job at finding answers and applying recovery methods. That said, I believe addiction is a disease. A disease of the body as well as the soul. Not a disease to be used as an “excuse” but a disease just the same. My mind, body and spirit were so sickened by this disease, that I gave up “hope” of ever finding help. ❤

    Like

    April 3, 2014 at 11:40 am

  6. There are so many types of addition. They all attack and incapacitate you in their own way. I went on a diet and lost about 6 pounds (the weight equivalent of one of my pimples, but still), Then I had an argument with my (drug addict) son, and I ate until I was as physically sick as he’d left me emotionally sick. Then, the labels. The co-dependency, the AA meeting where someone’s story was meant to sound worse than mine. As much as AA helps, and; it does: even there is a type of heirachy. Similar to Weigh-less. So, I can relate 100% for a STOP sign, in my own head. A zero tolerance for my own BS. Addiction: cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, food, fear of failure or the deliberate infliction of pain (emotional or otherwise). Well done on a new solution to an ongoing permissive nightmare. Tell yourself NO, I’m going to start right this moment – no excuses. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    April 4, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    • Awesome, so glad you liked this. And that is what it finally came to with me, it finally just had to be NO MORE. Thanks for reading and commenting. Also i am sorry about your son, it is really hard to watch someone you love go through addiction.

      Like

      April 4, 2014 at 3:32 pm

  7. JSantorelli

    I have to say, you’re as tough as steel-reinforced concrete. Can we clone you? It’s rare to find someone who understands life messy and sometimes you’re going to get dirty. That doesn’t mean you run away from the job and expect someone else to do it. God Bless you!

    Like

    April 7, 2014 at 9:13 pm

    • thank you, but im not sure im that awesome, close but not quite there. Lol

      Like

      April 7, 2014 at 10:43 pm

  8. Bravo…I feel it and know it…including the cancer part. Yes, just one small excuse to justify needed.

    Like

    April 10, 2014 at 11:26 am

    • Oh I’m sorry. And as someone who use to be he one making the excuses, i have a hard time tolerating it when i hear others doing the same

      Like

      April 10, 2014 at 11:31 am

      • We see life very differently after the experiences we have had….much sharper…in a way more relaxed, with other situation much more critical

        Like

        April 10, 2014 at 11:32 am

      • That’s right, i love to help people but until they are ready to accept their role in the problems they have. It is almost impossible .

        Like

        April 10, 2014 at 11:35 am

      • JSantorelli

        “…It is almost impossible.”

        It’s actually highly improbable. Some people like to throw a blanket over a lion in the room and try to convince themselves the lion isn’t there anymore. I’d love to see them stick their head under the blank though…….that would settle it for good!

        Like

        April 10, 2014 at 6:10 pm

      • thats right

        Like

        April 10, 2014 at 8:28 pm

  9. garry

    took many years for my mind to heal, we do recover one day at a time. being not resposible for my addiction lets me become resposible for my recovery
    http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/understanding-drug-abuse-addiction

    Like

    April 12, 2014 at 1:42 am

    • You’re right that it takes a long time to change you’re way of thinking , it was one day at a time for a good while with me. But you can only have true recovery once you acknowledge that your addiction and your recovery are your responsibly. No one else can do it for you.

      Like

      April 12, 2014 at 5:07 am

  10. Excellent post! Thank you!

    Like

    April 18, 2014 at 6:11 pm

  11. dbgb1986

    On one hand you say no excuses and take responsibility. But then you blame something else — AA — for your relapse. So… you make no sense. // Also, going to meetings is not shifting responsibility. Going to meetings is a way to meet people, support them, learn tools to fight addiction, and teach others the best ways to stay clean. // As for your cancer distinction, wrong again: Cancer CAN be something you change, via chemotherapy, and for many people, AA meetings are similar to chemotherapy, in that they reduce the chance of a relapse. In other words, cancer IS like alcoholism — every single choice we make as humans is based on internal forces (cells, neurons, viruses, electricity) and external ones (events, people, other circumstances). Therefore, relapsing into alcohol does not mean someone is irresponsible; rather, it means the person was led to drink again because of certain factors which cannot be controlled OR can only be controlled by going to meetings. Something to consider.

    Like

    April 26, 2014 at 5:02 am

    • okay first of all i did not blame aa for my relapse, i said they gave me an excuse to use and that is the truth, but that doesnt change the fact that it was my decision to drink. second i never said that people shouldnt go to aa, or that if you do you are shifting the responsibility, i know many people who swear by aa and have done great for years, and third no cancer can not always be treated, by saying that and comparing aa to chemotherapy and an alcoholic to a cancer patient you have insulted everyone who has ever had cancer and everyone who has ever lost someone because of cancer. and you are free to think whatever you want (even if it is wrong) but relapsing does mean you are irresponsible and selfish because it can be controlled, i have complete control over wether or not i go to the store and buy alcohol, i also i have complete control over my arm and wether or not i pick up a beer and raise it to my lips

      Like

      April 26, 2014 at 7:59 am

      • dbgb1986

        1) You certainly blamed AA for drinking again. You said that BECAUSE the program called it a disease, you felt free to drink again without feeling irresponsible. Fact. You cannot deny that. It’s beyond refutation. // 2) You never said people should go to AA, but I never said you said that. Look — you blasted AA and said it was a bad program because it takes responsibility away from people (also an irrefutable fact; you literally said this). // 3) I never said cancer can always be treated, so stop putting words in my mouth. I said this: “Cancer CAN be something you change, via chemotherapy, and for many people, AA meetings are similar to chemotherapy, in that they reduce the chance of a relapse.” That does not mean it can always be treated. But, guess what, the SAME WITH ADDICTION. And you insult all addicts by telling them that it’s their fault. Um… no. Many people are born addicts (through no fault of their own). Some people are in situations that you couldn’t dream of in your worst nightmares, and this can make addiction impossible to stop. Also, many activities and drugs are, guess what, insanely addictive by their nature. Many alcoholics, as I assume you know, DIE because they quit cold turkey or don’t know the appropriate way to stop drinking without destroying their systems. // 4) I know many people with cancer, and who have died from it, as I’m sure is true of a lot of us. Cancer is widespread. And there are different types. Same with addictions. Some treatable, some not. It is NOT insulting people with cancer to say that addictions are like cancer. I’m sorry, but if I had to choose between prostate cancer at the age of 85 versus being a heroin addict at the age of 15, I wonder which would be more difficult to overcome… // 5) Finally, you should be ashamed for writing this line: “… but relapsing does mean you are irresponsible and selfish because it can be controlled…” and then going on to talk about how YOU can control it. Well, that’s great that you can control it, and it’s great that I have family members with breast cancer who survived. But one of my family members has a form of cancer that might kill her within the year, and I know some addicts who are in similar situations, where the disease of addiction might take their lives; so just because you can control it does not mean those who cannot are irresponsible.

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 8:34 am

      • okay learn how to read then go back and read my post again, because i didnt say some of the stuff you say i did, most of what you said i have already covered and i dont have the time to waste trying to explain it again. i stand by my statement that addicts are selfish and irresponsible, and i am not ashamed of it, i am a recovering addict and i deal with addicts daily, to use or not most certainly is a choice, even in aa they tell you it is hard to resist but it is your choice and you can resist it. and nobody is born an addict that is an idiotic statement. and addiction can always be beaten it just takes personal strength and will power.

        Liked by 1 person

        April 26, 2014 at 8:58 am

      • dbgb1986

        Shit, I just made a response but then I lost it. Long story short, you DID say the things I said you said (implicitly or explicitly); some people are YES born addicted (and it’s an idiotic statement to say this isn’t true); many addicts are beyond treatment, just like many cancer patients are, so addictions cannot “always be beaten”; and personal strength and willpower are not always enough. Look, try living as a homeless person with an abusive boyfriend and with a mother whose breast milk was affected by crack; no offense to you and your willpower, but I doubt if you were in her situation you’d be making ignorant blog posts like this.

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:05 am

      • well that shows how much you know about me, when i was a teenager i was homeless, and i did have a boyfriend who use to enjoy beating me unconscious in his spare time.

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:15 am

      • dbgb1986

        And your mother’s breast milk was affected by crack? Again, I said try being that person, which you were not….

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:15 am

      • Are you an addict?

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:05 am

      • dbgb1986

        You think I’m stupid enough to answer that question on the Internet. Both answers fail me. If I say “YES” then I will be publicly admitting I’m an addict. If I say “NO” then you will say, “AHA! GOTCHA! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TLAKING ABOUT.” It’s irrelevant. What matters are the facts, and the facts are on my side.

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:07 am

      • okay whatever, i dont care what facts you think you have, i have 16 years experience and the real facts.

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:17 am

  12. dbgb1986

    I hope, pray, and really wish that you believe what the National Institutes of Health says — yes, some people are born addicted: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007313.htm

    Like

    April 26, 2014 at 9:10 am

    • and some people are born addicted, if the mother used during pregnancy, if not than no they are not born addicts, you can have a genetic disposition to become addicted easier than others but that doesnt make you an addict.

      Like

      April 26, 2014 at 9:19 am

      • dbgb1986

        To be born addicted, by definition, means to be born an addict…. We might agree to disagree on everything else, but c’mon, for this one, tiny point, just throw in the towel, and admit I was right. Intellectual honesty is about the ability to say, “whoops, I was wrong about that one thing.” It’s such a small point anyways, so I’m sure you won’t have trouble conceding on that one point, which our federal government’s top scientists have proven — unless you don’t trust our federal government’s top scientists….

        Like

        April 26, 2014 at 9:23 am

    • what do you pray to?

      Like

      April 26, 2014 at 10:00 am

  13. dbgb1986

    According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse: “As a result of scientific research, we know that addiction is a disease that affects both brain and behavior.” So let me guess – you don’t agree with the National Institute on Drug Abuse… You don’t trust those crazy scientists with all their millions upon millions of dollars of research… Interesting. Here’s the link: http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/science-addiction/preface

    Like

    April 26, 2014 at 9:21 am

  14. dbgb1986

    You write: “…okay whatever, i dont care what facts you think you have, i have 16 years experience and the real facts…” Um, I assume you’re referring to anecdotal information. Look, you know many people, and you know yourself. But that doesn’t make you an expert. Addiction is a disease. Period. But, you’re also right: Choice plays a part. Sure. The same way a cancer patient can choose to skip treatment or get it, an addict can choose to skip treatment or get it. That’s where choice comes in, of course. But cancer happens TO us, not BY us, you might say. Wrong again; cancer happens BY us; cancer is, by definition, unregulated cell growth that becomes too much, and it comes from our own bodies. Addiction emerges from our own bodies. Again, same thing. External forces can cause or induce cancer, sure, I agree. But same goes with addiction… Don’t get me wrong — if what you’re doing works for you, then it works for you. But to call addicts bad people for “choosing” to use, as though the world were black and white like that, is highly classless and ignorant.

    Like

    April 26, 2014 at 9:31 am

    • actually having experience in something does make you an expert, look up the definition of expert. also cancer is not something you can stop by just saying i dont want this anymore, addicts can stop whats killing them by simply deciding they dont want it anymore, and by not picking up that needle that bottle or that pill. you do not have to agree with me, but if someone continues to use drugs it is because they dont want to stop badly enough. now with that being said if you dont like what i have to say then DONT READ MY BLOG.

      Liked by 1 person

      April 26, 2014 at 9:57 am

  15. dbgb1986

    You asked: “What do you prat to?” To say I hope, pray, and wish is to use a figure of speech, emphasizing how much I hope for something. I don’t literally pray. My apologies for any resulting misunderstanding.

    Like

    May 13, 2014 at 7:02 pm

  16. dbgb1986

    You write: “…addicts can stop whats killing them by simply deciding they dont want it anymore, and by not picking up that needle that bottle or that pill. you do not have to agree with me, but if someone continues to use drugs it is because they dont want to stop badly enough. now with that being said if you dont like what i have to say then DONT READ MY BLOG.”

    1) Not all addicts can simply stop because they want to. In fact, some addicts HAVE TO use a little, lest they die (because, for example, doctors sometimes make their patients drink slightly less alcohol, until they are wheened-sp. off, for stopping cold turkey can biologically result in death). / Also: Some addicts try their hardest to stop, but free will is not a concrete thing, and some things outside of people’s control can make them use again. (Many babies born addicted to crack simply have no way of stopping.)

    2) To say that some people don’t want “enough” to stop using is simply mean. Some people want to stop ten times more badly than you ever did, but they might not have the genetic makeup, willpower, strength, and moral courage that you have. The same way some people are born short vs. tall, some people are — biologically — born with fewer of these traits. Genes play a huge part in people’s personalities.

    3) Why should I stop reading blogs from people who write things I dislike? First of all, I obviously like some of what you write; otherwise, I never would have followed you. But secondly, I have a moral duty to read opposing opinions. Even if you disagree with me, I can still learn from you. In fact, BECAUSE we disagree, I find your opinions valuable. / On this same note, while I don’t respect the way you say certain things, as I find them irresponsible, or rude, or contrary to compassion, I do think your heart’s in the right place, and I think you deserve credit for standing up for what you believe. You’re not a fake; you’re genuine. And we need more people like you who say how they truly feel. It matters.

    4) On the expert issue, which I did not quote, I admit defeat; technically speaking, you ARE an expert according to one definition of the word. That being said, you have LESS expertise than the thousands of scientists employed by the federal government, who have decades’ worth of study under their belts, plus millions of dollars of research, and a ton of other resources. BUT — you’re right, you are AN expert. I simply weigh one expert (you) against the NIH and find the NIH to be the winner.

    Like

    May 13, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    • You are right that some addicts need help, some alcoholics for example do require a short detox period or they really can die, I myself had 2 seizures when I stopped drinking. It was never my intention to be mean or rude with this post, and I agree it is harder to quit depending on a lot of factors. My main goal with this post was to let even the worst addicts know, that it is possible to quit, but you do have to drop the excuses in order to do so. If someone would ha e told me three and a half years ago, that I would be where I am now I would have called them a liar and laughed at them. Also thank you for the compliments, and I didnt even know you were following me.

      Liked by 1 person

      May 13, 2014 at 9:39 pm

  17. dbgb1986

    1) I might not have been following you, but now I am, so sorry about that!
    2) I will also admit defeat on this point: Some excuses need to be dropped. You and I might disagree on the details, but you win in the sense that, YES, there are SOME excuses that al addicts need to stop making.
    3) I said something like this before, but I’ll say it again: You have a kind heart, your heart is in the right place, and I think it’s wonderful that you voice your opinion. Many women are too afraid to do so, especially in a society that devalues the opinions of women, and so you get credit for that.
    4) It was never my intention to be rude or mean, either, but I’m sure that I was, too, so I apologize for that.
    5) I think you and I just proved that, even on the Internet, two people who might continue to disagree with each other can make truces and maybe even get along.
    6) Never stop writing!

    Like

    May 13, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    • Thanks, I am glad you are following me, I am following you as well. I think its good to have people challenge your point of view sometimes. You might be surprised what you can learn.

      Liked by 1 person

      May 13, 2014 at 9:54 pm

  18. Sublime lecture, merci !!!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 11, 2014 at 7:32 am

  19. Everyone has something we are addicted to, the issue is do we fight it when it comes

    Liked by 1 person

    July 13, 2014 at 3:22 pm

  20. I think this is among the most significant information for
    me. And i am glad reading your article. But want to
    remark on some general things, The website style is perfect, the articles is really nice :
    D. Good job, cheers

    Like

    October 13, 2014 at 6:12 am

  21. I think the word “disease” is more about the people around the addict understanding it in a frame of reference they can then process correctly. I don’t think of that word as an excuse though and I can see how you would say that. But it gives a name better suited to an addict then “they’re just a criminal and should be locked up.” One of my favorite shows “Intervention” helped the world understand it better. Because really, addicts are people who were hurt and self medicated their pain away. All the actions following, stealing, lying, etc., are a result of that. They aren’t criminals or bad people, which is what the world saw before shows like intervention and labels like “disease” came along. Just my 2 cents, for all its worth. Stay strong gf.. though I know how hard it is and I’m so proud you talk about it so openly, because you are helping others and yourself too.

    Like

    November 3, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    • There are several people who think addiction is a disease just like cancer, like if an addict dies of a drug overdose then it wasnt their fault because they couldnt stop it from happening. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      November 3, 2014 at 1:28 pm

      • I know what you mean, and again I think its origins were only meant to help the others affected by the addict understand it in a better frame of reference. While cancer isn’t always self inflicted and addition is, nonetheless they are people in pain who can’t deal with it. So they take routes unlike real medical diseases to fix the pain. No one lays out a guide on how to heal the heart, right?

        Liked by 1 person

        November 3, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      • Life is hard, sometimes so hard you cant imagine how you will survive and when an addict chooses to turn to their drug of choice to help with the pain sometimes they dont. To many good people in this world have died because no one would say the hard stuff to them, I hope maybe my posts will help someone who is about to make the wrong choice.

        Liked by 1 person

        November 3, 2014 at 1:43 pm

      • Even more than that Diana.. you inspire others like myself to be more open about myself without shame. Keep doing what your doing, saying what’s in your heart and being the wonderful imperfect you that you are.

        Like

        November 3, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      • Thanks so much sweetie, I appreciate that very much.

        Liked by 1 person

        November 3, 2014 at 1:51 pm

  22. A really good and important post.

    Like

    November 3, 2014 at 2:02 pm

  23. I 100% agree with you. Addiction is not a disease. It is not something that a person has to or is doomed to suffer with for their entire lifetime. It’s a choice. When a person is ready to quit an addiction, they will quit. Not saying it’s always easy. Of course it’s not. However, it is still a choice. My stepfather was a severe alcoholic. About 15 years ago, he stopped drinking. He’s not a ‘recovering alcoholic’. He’s not recovering from anything. He’s overcome! 🙂 Love this post! Kuddos for your courage.

    Like

    November 3, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    • Thankyou so much and I agree, the only reason I say recovering instead of recovered is that though i am a recovered addict now, I can never socially drink or take pills. I will never be able to do that and control it, but I am good with that, i never want to nor will I ever use again. It sickens me to think of the way I use to be and the excuses I made. Thamks much for reading and commenting. 🙂

      Like

      November 3, 2014 at 4:58 pm

  24. I think you are right about excuses. Even if your addiction is a self medication to treat another illness, if you are of any sound mind at all, you can see your abuse of whatever substance is less effective than the proper medication for what ails you.
    I think another issue is hope. Sometimes we lay around waiting for something to change, something to give. This happens to anyone, addict or not, we use hope as an excuse, when what needs to happen is that we ourselves make immediate changes in our lives. Hoping and dreaming and wishful thinking are excuses to avoid that personal responsibility.
    I think people who have made decisive choices to bring profound change into their lives, for the better, should be talking about it like this, as you do, because it benefits us all. Thank you for doing so.

    Like

    November 3, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    • Thankyou so much, I agree very often people just expect something good to happen to them instead of making something good happen for themself. Thanks for reading and for the extra encouragement. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      November 3, 2014 at 9:50 pm

  25. “I think that all of the labels we put on things now really does more harm than good, because once something has a name it is considered wrong to say anything bad about the person behind the label.”

    100 percent agree. Nice post

    Like

    November 5, 2014 at 8:49 pm

  26. Love the raw honesty…another GREAT blog~

    Like

    November 6, 2014 at 7:52 pm

  27. Great Advice. I apply that to my life. I remind myself to stop bitching and I can do something to change what I don’t like. Congrats on being clean, that’s always hard to do and I’m glad you found the courage to stop it. I think it takes courage to admit you have a problem and you’re the only one that can fix it. Incredible Honesty!

    Like

    November 6, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    • thanks so much, im really glad you liked it.

      Like

      November 7, 2014 at 6:10 am

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