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housewives and mothers be proud

images (1)images (2)Before i get started let me just say this is in no way putting down working women if a woman wants to work or has to work then that is what they should do. Now lets get started. I am wondering why so many women are ashamed of the roles that they use to take so much pride in. years ago a woman was proud to say I am a housewife and mother and i am very good at it. Now however if you say i am a houswife and mother a man may look at you with admiration , while a working women will often look at you like you just said hi i am a failure. why do women no longer take pride in staying home to take care of their family? And why are the women that do being devalued by working women? Someone in my family once asked me what i wanted to do with my life, and when i said i wanted to be a housewife and a mother her response kind of shocked me, she said so you wanna lay on your back get knocked up and take it easy. she made it sound as though i had said i wanted to be a prostitute. Now obviously this person was just trying to be hurtful but why? It was like she got offended because i wanted to have a family and stay home to focus on them. And there was the ignorance of saying raising a family is easy. I have worked regular jobs in the past and i promise you to be a good wife and mother is unbelievably harder than going to work. When you take on the job of a stay at home wife and mother you are on call 24/7. If your baby needs a clean diaper you can’t say I’m calling in sick, if your child is hungry you can’t use one of your vacation days. These things don’t exist when you are a homemaker. Working women and anyone else who thinks this is an easy job, just don’t understand how much pressure it is to know that who these little people become is entirely up to you. What and how you teach them determines wether they will be doctors, lawyers, drug addicts or serial killers, to have people that depend on you completely just to stay alive is a huge job. In my opinion one that should be treated with the utmost respect. Someone who devotes their whole life to making sure that the future of our country is raised right with morals and integrity, should be looked up to not looked down on. Well i have told you how hard this job is but let me also say it is incredibly rewarding, to watch your children grow and see that they are good people because you have done your job right. I wouldn’t trade my job for any other in the world. so now you know my opinion you can let me know if you agree or disagree in the comments section. thanks for reading.

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55 responses

  1. Yes, I totally agree with you! Sometimes people also look at me like, “wow lazy!” when I tell them I am a housewife/mother. Even my grandpa, who was so ecstatic about having great-grand children asked my sister, “When is Marina going back to work?” I just don’t get it why people think it is a failure, like you said. They do see it as like you couldn’t get a job or something! But I like your paragraph, and I totally agree with everything you said!

    Liked by 1 person

    February 12, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    • I am very glad you liked my post. And it is mind boggling to me that anyone would find being a stay at home mom as something not worth doing. Thanks for your comment and i hope you continue to read my posts or follow me

      Like

      February 12, 2014 at 7:48 pm

  2. I guess I say to each is own. I am a full time mommy of 4 and work full time as well. I have most of my life. I once gave up my job to do fertility treatments- after it all failed, I had to go back to work and do something with myself.
    There are days I wish I could be a stay at home Mom so I wouldn’t miss anything. Then, I remember the money that I bring in (and my Husband as well) is what gives them all the lavished things they like. Not to mention- while i’m working-they are in school (except 1) so-i’m not missing too much.
    Being a Mother is a Full time job- most definitely. Kudos to you 🙂

    Like

    April 3, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    • I have worked outside of my home also, but now i don’t have to, so i stay home with my family and take care of them full time. And once all of my children are in school i don’t know if i will want to stay home or not. I kinda doubt it. With my little ones here i stay very busy all day, but without them home, i imagine it would be pretty boring. Thanks for commenting and following my blog.

      Like

      April 3, 2014 at 9:19 pm

  3. I love being a housewife and a stay at home mommy. I just need friends… LOL

    I enjoy it very much, I was a working mother at one point and I hated being away from my kids. I despised it. I may have to do it again soon, BUT all the hospitals in the area have DAYCARE..which means I can run and see my babies moreso than if they were out of my working area. I’m excccciiittteeeeddd! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    May 30, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    • Thats good that you will be working somewhere with daycare. And the good thing is once you start im sure you will make friends very fast.

      Like

      May 30, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      • I have to finish my last year of school first, but I’ll make friends there so you’re still right! 🙂

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 12:34 pm

  4. Before I had Lily, I knew I would be staying home for a while to take of her. I imagined all the things I would get done. How the laundry would be kept up with. How I would have dinner cooked by the time my boyfriend got home. How the house would be nice and clean everyday.

    Then I had Lily and realized that was all crazy thoughts. That I am lucky to even find the time to feed and dress myself! And I was so hard on myself…. Like why can’t I get all of this done!? Then one day my boyfriend had to stay home with Lily and told me he didn’t think he could do it everyday and it was hard… And that going to work seemed easier. And then I realized I wasn’t doing a bad job… That sometimes it’s more work than I imagined. Now that she is getting older I do work a few days a week for a few hours just to help bring in some extra money.

    But for me, going to work for those few hours is a little bit of a break. But I probably would stay home full time still if I didn’t feel bad about not bringing in any money since my babysitting job is over.

    Haha sorry this is so long, I kind of was rambling.

    Like

    May 30, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    • No dont be sorry, I love long comments. And I agree, I worked for a little while when our oldest son was younger and it really was more like work was a break, being home all the time is very hard mainly because it is so mentally draining.

      Like

      May 30, 2014 at 12:48 pm

      • But I do love getting to watch her grow and I don’t miss out seeing her learn new things! When I go to work I do miss her 🙂 but I know she’s in good hands because I work opposite of my boyfriend so he can watch her the nights I have to work. And I love not having to pay someone to raise my baby and I still get to mostly be with her. I didn’t get any negative feedback about me staying home. I’m lucky to have a good support system. And my family constantly tells me how good of a mom I have been to Lily. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      • Well I dont know you, but from what I have read and the things you say about your little girl, you sound like an amazing mom.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 12:56 pm

  5. My husband and I decided when we were dating that one of us would stay home with our children. We didn’t really are who. Whoever made the most money would keep going to work. Our son is 4, and we have taken turns working. I think working out of the home is harder, at least for me. Because the work was less meaningful to me. It hard for me to get into writing e-mails when I knew my son was at home. Maybe it was because I didn’t have a fulfilling career. My husband hates his Stay-at-home-dad life. And, I’ll be honest, I’m better at it. After I came back and he went to work, I felt like a better mom and wife, because I saw the job from the other side, and how much work I do accomplished in a day.

    I do wish being a SAHM came with more pride. I feel like I have to justify myself, a lot. There are so many people who don’t understand why I stay home. They just don’t get it.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 30, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    • There are always gonna be haters no matter what you do, bur the only thing that matters is you and your family are happy with your arrangement. I just never wanted to be anything else, i always new i wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother, but a good wife and mother, not like the mother I had. I wanted a family and I wanted to do it right.

      Like

      May 30, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      • I always said the most important thing I would ever do is raise my children. 🙂

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      • I agree completely.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 1:00 pm

  6. healthaddict00

    I personally see nothing wrong with being a housewife and mother or a working mother. However the statement “When you take on the job of a stay at home wife and mother you are on call 24/7. If your baby needs a clean diaper you can’t say I’m calling in sick, if your child is hungry you can’t use one of your vacation days. These things don’t exist when you are a homemaker. working women and anyone else who thinks this is an easy job, just don’t understand how much pressure it is to know that who these little people become is entirely up to you” is somewhat false to me. Being a stay at home mom and having a sick child is much easier than being a working mom with a sick child. I’m working to provide for my daughter and when she’s sick all of a sudden at 3 a.m. *i* still have to get up and take care of her after working all day, and then I probably have to take off work that day sacrificing money that I need to support my daughter. That’s much more difficult than if I were a stay at home mom like I once was and it didn’t affect my income or daily routine or my daughters for that matter either. I’ve been both a stay at home mom and working mom and if it weren’t for my depression, I would much rather be a stay at home mom because its much easier than being a working mom. Its nice to get a break from my daughter but I have provide for her and then I have to get everything done for an entire day in only a few hours and get that same quality time in as well. Its much more to juggle. Both jobs are hard but to act as though being a working mom is easier is very false. I dont look down on stay at home mothers, I wish I could be one but I don’t appreciate that false statements about working moms saying its so much easier when I’ve been both.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 30, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    • Ive been both to and I disagree with you. But I also have four kids not just one so….

      Like

      May 30, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      • healthaddict00

        To each their own but don’t make a post being upset about how others say being a stay at home mom is easy and then turn around saying what I, or other working moms do is so easy when it’s not. Or act like because I’m a working mom that I somehow no longer take care of my child or have to tend to their needs like a stay at home mom does. I’m on call 24/7 too, not just you or other stay at home mom’s. I do everything stay at home moms needs to do, along with working and going to school. There’s nothing “easy” about that.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 30, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      • For one thing dont come to my blog and tell me what I can and cant write. I will write whatever I please, for another thing I never said being a working mom is easy, I stated very clearly in the beginning of my post that I was not putting down working moms, I was a working mom, and I know it is not easy, but I think it is much more mentally stressful to be a stay at home mom.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 30, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      • healthaddict00

        I never said what you can or can’t write but it’s a bit hypocritical to complain about what others’ say about your lifestyle but judge others’ lifestyles the same way. You can say you weren’t putting down working moms, but the overall message and feel of the post was negative toward working moms. To say that working moms aren’t on call 24/7 and implying working moms can just step away from that or other things you said in your post degrade working moms and their role as a mother. You can say you weren’t putting working moms down but really you stuck those little comments in there as if being a working mom is easier. I’m not trying to be rude, and if I come across that way I apologize.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 3:49 pm

      • Yes you do come across that way, the whole post was about how working moms put down sahm. I dont think either one should be putting the other down. And i wasnt degrading working moms by saying they arent with their children 24/7 its the truth. I wasnt judging anyone either I said that in the beginning of my post as well, I said if a woman wants to work or needs to thats what she should do. Now that that has been said you should have no problem with my post, so we disagree about which job is harder who cares move on.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 4:00 pm

      • healthaddict00

        You didn’t say with their child 24/7 you said on call 24/7. I am a mom 24/7.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      • Also the only thing that matters is whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, we should be doing our best to raise our children right and show them every chance we have how much we love them.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 4:09 pm

      • healthaddict00

        Yes we should and we shouldn’t be putting down one another or trying to compete with who’s job is more difficult like you’re doing.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 5:40 pm

      • Lol, You just repeated what i said, you know what if you dont like it dont read it Its pretty simple.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 7:58 pm

      • healthaddict00

        Just look at what you wrote and how you did the same thing to us working moms that people do to you stay at home moms. Both roles are hard in different ways. My job is just as hard as yours. So don’t make it out to be that mines easier because it’s not.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      • Are you kidding me all I did was explain how being a stay at home mom is hard. I never once said being a working mom Is easy. I am just tired of working women acting like stay at home moms lay on their but all day.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 8:11 pm

      • healthaddict00

        I’ll explain what I’m saying with your own quotes.

        “I have worked regular jobs in the past and i promise you to be a good wife and mother is unbelievably harder than going to work.” — Right there you flat out say that being a stay at home mom is harder. So stop back tracking on that. If you really were just explaining how being a stay at home mom is just as hard as a working mom then you wouldn’t have said that. You also didn’t mention that you respect working moms or acknowledge our jobs are difficult as well because you clearly don’t think it’s difficult to be a working mom.

        ” If your baby needs a clean diaper you can’t say I’m calling in sick, if your child is hungry you can’t use one of your vacation days. These things don’t exist when you are a homemaker. ” — I don’t have that either. If my daughter needs a diaper change, or food I still have to feed her.

        ” Working women and anyone else who thinks this is an easy job, just don’t understand how much pressure it is to know that who these little people become is entirely up to you. ” — I don’t know where you get the inclination that because I work that the person my child becomes isn’t dependent on me as her parent. Because she still depends on me entirely to teach her how to be a working member of society, a good person, etc.

        ” Someone who devotes their whole life to making sure that the future of our country is raised right with morals and integrity, should be looked up to not looked down on.” — Just because I work doesn’t mean I’m not dedicating my life to raising my child right or to have morals. I’m also pretty sure that keeping a roof over my daughter’s head and food in her belly and clothes on her back all contribute to that and being a stay at home mom I can’t do that.

        “it is incredibly rewarding, to watch your children grow and see that they are good people because you have done your job right.” — I still get to see my daughter grow and me working doesn’t mean I’m not doing my job as a mother right.

        You also said we could comment whether we agree or disagree so you should’ve been expecting both opinions.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      • I do think being a stay at home mom is harder, and you are not gonna change my mind. That doesnt mean that being a working mom isnt hard, but i have done both and for me, being a stay at home mom is harder. Now how is me thinking that one job is harder than the other disrespectful? Also you said I didnt mention that I respect working mothers, this post is not about that, it is about being tired of the disrespect that sahm receive from working mothers. Maybe when you are older you will understand. One more thing considering that you go to school,and have a job, and your one child is very young, how would you know what it is like to be a stay at home mother?

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 9:34 pm

      • healthaddict00

        Just because you think it’s harder doesn’t make it right for you to say those things.

        I did online school when I first had my daughter before I got my license or job. I stayed home with her all day every day and barely ever got to leave the house. Although I’m not sure how her being young affects me staying home lol.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 10:02 pm

  7. Yep. Been there. “So what do you do all day?” Seriously? I do what you pay your childcare provider to do, thanks. But I am bad about not being proud of my SAHM job. Forget the haters. I NEED to hold me head high, and say, “I am loving being a SAHM.” Thanks for the reminder.

    Like

    May 30, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    • It is a very important job, so be proud of what you do. And thanks for the support.

      Like

      May 30, 2014 at 8:00 pm

  8. I think it’s just hard being a mom period. With all the stress or of outside influences how could it not be, and if anyone is able to just stay at home and be there to shape their kids whether mom or dad then that is a highly respectable thing! While I am on call 24/7 and never get a day off, I do get a few hours break while I go to work which works well for me 😉 anyone making negative comments to you is just trying to be hurtful and they can get over it 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    May 30, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    • Thank you so much hon, I really appreciate that, because I tried very hard when writing this to make sure I was being respectful to everyone.

      Like

      May 30, 2014 at 8:19 pm

      • You did fine! Writing is part of how we project our feeling and get them out. There is never anything wrong with being true to that!

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 8:21 pm

      • Thank you again, im glad you came by, your words put a smile ony face.

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      • 🙂

        Like

        May 30, 2014 at 8:28 pm

  9. I spent a few years at home, after having had a career, and was shocked at how people began to view me as a vapid housekeeper. I have a PhD but no matter, if I didn’t have a job outside the house, I must be a simpleton. Now I work from home and have the best of both worlds. When I was not “working”, I was still quite busy and juggling all the many tasks and challenges that women juggle every day, job or no job. Good for you, I say!

    Like

    November 7, 2014 at 6:38 am

    • Thanks hon, and you are right it doesnt matter how educated you are, as soon as you say you are a sahm you are looked at as if something is wrong with you.

      Like

      November 7, 2014 at 6:46 am

  10. Ha, look at us 😉 Inspired by you again! Second time today!!!!

    Like

    November 7, 2014 at 6:41 am

  11. I want to be a stay-at-home mom when I grow up!! My husband and I are working towards that right now. He lost his job in February, so of course I kept my job and continue to work full time. We’ve always been a dual working couple (24 years!) but it’s always been my desire to stay home, take care of the kids and my nest. Mothering is my greatest joy and I just know I’d be even better at it if my job didn’t suck the life out of me. So, we’ve made some good financial choices and I hope to be full employed at home by the end of next year.
    Great posts, Diana…I have loved watching you grow in this bloggy community over the last year. You rock!

    Liked by 2 people

    November 7, 2014 at 7:33 am

    • Awww what a sweetie you are, I have no doubt that you are an amazing mom, worker, friend, and all around person. I hope you are soon able to stay home like you want hon.

      Liked by 1 person

      November 7, 2014 at 7:54 am

  12. I agree 100%. Having worked at corporate jobs for years, since being a teen, I can honestly say that they were a piece of cake compared to being a stay at home mom/wife. However, my work at home is so much more rewarding than any of those jobs. Also, much more important. Children are the future of the world. Why would anyone belittle someone for taking on such an important and crucial job?

    I only have one regret about being a stay at home mother, and that is that I didn’t do it sooner. I wish I had been there since day one. So much time wasted at work, that should have been spent at home with my son.

    With all that said, each person must choose for themselves what they are financially capable of doing and what their priorities are. As for me, I’ve already made my choice. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 7, 2014 at 7:54 am

    • Thanks so much for your support, and though it is hard work i agree being a sahm is very rewarding, i wouldnt trade it for any other job. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      November 7, 2014 at 8:24 am

  13. Personally… I stay at home with my 3 kids… I home school the oldest (2nd grader) and I have never experienced what it is like to be a working mom.

    One of my favorite sayings is “the grass might look greener but it still has to be mowed.”

    All of us are ignorant to what the others life is like… even when comparing 2 stay at home moms.

    What I do know for sure is if you are a mom who loves her kids. .. gives them your time… half of your cookie ;-)… your very heart… your life is hard. It’s tiring. .. it can be lovely and full of false pride and false guilt.

    But because we give of ourselves. .. especially during these little years… we will see such sweet fruit… we will see our gifts… our children. .. grow into adults we are proud of. And who will hopefully bath us and change our diapers when we are old 😉

    Ladies… keep up the loving…. sacrificial labor… Our kids are worth it!!!

    Like

    November 7, 2014 at 8:15 am

    • I agree, the whole point of this post though is that sahm are often looked down on as if they are uneducated or not hard workers, when that is not true at all.

      Like

      November 7, 2014 at 8:19 am

  14. Raising your kids will always be the most important job you ever do, whether or not you have to work outside the home to bring in the bacon. Some women, sadly, have no choice in the matter, and they are to be applauded for doing the best they can to balance it all. I left off my career with my kids were little since I did not want their babysitter to have a bigger say in their upbringing than I did. I cast no aspersions on others who decide otherwise, but I can honestly say in my own case this was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. Of course, it was a big plus not having to juggle 2 vacation schedules. The time spent with my little ones meant less money, sure, and I actually think staying home was harder work in some ways! But it has reaped huge rewards in the long run. I am so very proud of the adults my children have become. 🙂 Here’s to mums everywhere!!

    Liked by 2 people

    November 7, 2014 at 8:22 am

  15. I think, which is simply, working moms that degrade SAHM are jealous. I think it’s awesome that you have someone that loves you and wants to take care of you. I’m not saying that you guys don’t work hard; just that someone loves you enough to let you do that. And working moms, some of them, are jealous you have someone to take care of you. I also think that all the reality tv shows on housewives/mothers have given you guys a bad rep.

    I have never been working or stay at home, but both scare me; to raise a little person into adulthood without screwing up. I would take my bombs over that right now, thank you very much. And when I see some stupid person on tv doing something stupid, I almost always think that SAHM always have it easy. Which is really bad on my part, but then again I’m waiting for the right man to come along. LOL could explain that.

    Anyways, I feel that sometimes we women have made it harder on ourselves than necessary. I mean come on, SAHM was an awesome thing back when, and then we pushed for equal rights and now:

    Mom are always moms, moms keep the house up (except maybe repairs), all the cooking and cleaning, then moms work 40 hours or more a week, then of course moms are the psychologist, oh and don’t forget about dirty house wife in the evening behind closed doors, & to top it all off, most men come home sit their nice behinds in a chair and demand food/beer.

    So, I think that we did do that to ourselves and I am not bashing any party involved. I don’t know if I could do it. I have put off having kids or marriage because I am too selfish to give up my freedom and alone time. So, one day having kids could change my life. Oh, just because I am curious and have already made some mad: What do you do when they go off to school? I mean do you wax floors or something? I can’t even dust half (any) of the time, so what takes up your time? I might shoot myself if I had to clean all day. Just saying….

    Don’t be ashamed most are only mean because they are jealous. (Oh, and my brother-in-law is the stay at home and I don’t put him down. He loves it.)

    Like

    November 7, 2014 at 9:27 am

    • Well i get up at 5:30 in the morning, start coffee, clean my back porch and basement where our dogs have messed everything up, get breakfast ready for my kids who are 2, 5, and 11 get my 11 year old off to school, get the other two fed and teeth brushed, do the dishes, sweep, mop, take out trash, get kids dressed, walk dogs, take care of any bills, set up appointments for my husband and my dad, make lunch, clean kitchen and kids off again, clean bathroom, living room, family room, clean 3 bedrooms, play with the kids for a little while, go to grocery store, come home get husbands lunch ready ( he works night shift) see him off, get dinner started, get laundry started, feed the kids, help dj with his homework, give the kids their baths and get them into their pajamas, Do the dishes and clean the kitchen again, put the kids to bed, take a shower, clean living room and family room again, put up laundry, and by this time it is almost midnight then my 2 year old will usually play, whine and fuss for about 2 hours and of course the other two will want a snack and they will have to go pee numerous times so i will finally get to sleep at about 2:30 or 3, then get up at 5:30 and start all over again. Plus i do all of the yard work

      Like

      November 7, 2014 at 10:34 am

    • oh and once they are all in school i will probably work part time, since there will be much less to do around the house. Unless i decide to homeschool we are still undecided on that.

      Like

      November 7, 2014 at 10:39 am

  16. I am impressed. You do more than I will ever do in a day. Ah, that’s a hard decision especially when considering social aspect of things. I do admire all stay at home mom’s, well most, can’t say that all make you look good. But anyways, I have do have empathy for all SAHM and cheer you on (from way of here.) 🙂 Oh, and thank you, I didn’t really expect anybody to answer my questions. Curiosity will get me in trouble one day. Hope you have a great day!!

    Like

    November 7, 2014 at 11:23 am

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