yesterday was such an awesome day. Yesterday i did something that filled me with so much joy that its hard to explain. Are you ready for this ? Yesterday i painted my deck. I know, probably not what you expected me to say. And no i wasnt being sarcastic at all. A few years ago i couldnt have cared less about something like this. I was much to concerned with finding another percocet, or a beer. But now i care about these kinds of things, doing stuff like mowing or gardening, i dont know it just reminds me of things i have only seen in movies. You know the kind, great neighborhood, well manicured lawns, and loving families, where you just know that the biggest problem they have is that someone elses dog went dookie on their lawn. It made me feel normal, to be painting the deck while my husband was building furniture in the yard. I have found that i crave moments like this, just as much as i use to crave a cold beer or another pill. At one point yesterday i looked up to the beautiful blue cloudless sky, and just said thank you Lord, thankyou for giving me the wisdom to appreciate this. Its nice to be able to really enjoy all the little things in life and just feel normal.