Hey everyone as of today i have been blogging for exactly one year, yay.
It really doesnt seem like it has been that long, i mean im just now getting use to calling myself a blogger.
It has been great though, i have gotten to know some amazing, and truly inspiring people, and maybe, (hopefully) even helped a few along the way.
One thing that happened that i didnt expect, is that blogging has really helped me in a big way, its helped me to see my self in a different light. When i first started this i still felt like a failure, even though i had already been clean for more than 2 years, i still felt like that same drug addict and alcoholic, but now i dont. Writing things out and letting everyone see who i really am has helped me discover things about myself that i didnt realize before. I love blogging and i so enjoy reading all my followers comments, your support and encouragement means so much to me, after all without followers blogging really doesnt mean much at all. So a very special thank you to all of my friends and followers, it has been great getting to know all of you, and i look forward to another year of crazy posts and comments.
Diana Roark aka mommyx4boys
I was sitting alone this morning, my little ones all still asleep, and my mind began to drift.
I started thinking about my mother and her side of the family, who i havent spoken to in over 3 years and i was remembering some of the things they use to say to me, things like how i would never amount to anything, or that i would be in prison by the time i was 15. At the age of about 7 i loved playing with my mothers makeup and getting dressed up, there response was to call me their little street walker, thats a really cute thing to say to a 7 year old little girl huh?
There have been a lot of people mainly family members, who have always looked down on me, they were mean, cruel, and heartless, from the beginning it was like they were trying to set me up to fail, encouraging it, and now that i am not a failure they want no part of me.
All things considered I would have every right to hate them but i dont, no i dont hate them I am grateful.
I am grateful because i know i am strong, because of the things they said and did i know i can persevere through anything, no matter what someone throws at me i can take it. Im thankful for their hatred toward me because it has fueled the fire for me to overcome, their attempts to destroy me have not worked, because of them i am strong, i am resilient, i am better, and its partly because they never thought i would be.
So to anyone who doubted me before, doubts me now, or will doubt me later, its okay and thankyou for giving me that extra something, Thankyou for making me stronger, it wasnt your goal to do this but it is exactly what you have done. As i was writing this post i remembered this song, and thought i would include it, it pretty much sums everything up.