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Posts tagged “mom

Why Mommy ( Abortion )

fdsa 011My smile will never be seen, my laugh will never be heard, they called me a parasite this is absurd.
My mommy decided abortion was best, i wish i had a voice so i could protest.
If i did i would say mommy please dont let me go, this is my life and i want it so,
Please mommy dont take my life away, i like it here and i really wanna stay.
What have i done, and what can i do, its not my fault im inside you.
But a voice i do not have so soon i will die, how could you do this to me mommy please tell me why?





My little ones

My little ones

We are all sensitive about something, and with me i am the most sensitive about my ability to be a good mother, it is one of my biggest fears that my children will grow up and feel the same about me as i do my mother. My mother was never there for me, i remember one specific incident where i had not seen or talked to my mother for a couple months, and i would call her house and cry and plead with her to answer the phone. I missed my mom so much, i would talk and beg on her answering machine until it cut me off. well one day my grandmother(my moms mom) kept me over night because my dad had to work, and when she heard me talking and crying she was furious. so she put me in the car and drove me to my moms house. when we got there she told my mom she was going to spend some time with me whether she wanted to or not. so we all drove to the park, and my mother would not even look at me, she sat on the opposite side of the bench, and the whole time we were there she only said three words to me, it was when we were about to leave, i said i love you mom and i tried to give her a kiss, she finally spoke and said dont touch me, and then she got up and walked away. I was 8 years old.
This was nowhere near the worst thing my mother ever did to me over the years, but it stood out to me. i suppose because it was the first time i had my heart broken. So i am very careful what i say to my children and how i act at all times. I never want them to feel the way i did that day, i am always kissing and hugging my little ones and telling them how much i love them. I know it kinda irritates my 10 year old, but thats okay. so now you know my biggest area of vulnerability and why all it takes to crush me inside, is saying that i am a bad mother, or for someone to compare me to my mother.


My dad

My dad

Me, my big sister, and my dad. Wasn't i adorable

Me, my big sister, and my dad. Wasn’t i adorable

When i was young i was quite sad, never felt good always felt bad,

i didnt know how to change it and that made me mad, never had a mother just me and my dad.

If not for him i wouldnt be who i am today, so i suppose in the long run its good she went away.

My father is a wonderful man, whenever i said i couldnt he always said you can.

He always worked so hard for me, i didnt know then but now i see.

In my eyes he’s quite a hero, but he believes himself to be a zero.

Many mistakes he has made, but at least he cared, at least he stayed.

I love you dad and i hope you see, just how much you mean to me.

Tag get to know me

download (11)CAM00318Hey everyone, my new friend Sara from two three or not two three tagged me in her post yesterday, so now i am supposed to answer a bunch of questions so you can get to know me a little bit better, here we go

1. Are you named after someone? yes! my father said i was named after princess Diana because i was his little princess.

2. When was the last time you cried? About 2 days ago, i was watching a end of the world type movie, and a woman was begging for someone to take her baby so he would live, i never use to be emotional about movies, but since i had kids anything like that makes me cry like a baby.

3. Do you have kiddos? Yes! I have a 19 year old step son named Dustin , a 10 year old son named Dj , a 4 year old son named Dominik , a 2 year old son named donnie, and a daughter named Rain mckayla who passed away.

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? Of course i am friggen awesome, lol. I am also very loyal and would do just about anything to help anyone who needs it.

5. Do you have a guilty pleasure? Yes, watching The Walking Dead and bacon

6. Do you like your handwriting? No! I hate my handwriting, i am left handed so my writing looks more like chicken scratch.

7. Whats your favorite cereal? I dont eat cereal anymore, but it use to be honey bunches of oats.

8. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their teeth, and i can almost always tell if someone has a drug problem, or is an alcoholic, just by hearing them say a few sentences. I guess because i have so much experience with it.

9. What is your eye color? It changes, from hazel to green.

10. Scary movie or happy endings? Definitely scary movie.

11. Favorite tv show? As if everyone doesnt know, The Walking Dead

12. Summer or winter? Spring and fall are my favorite, summer is to hot and i hate, im using the word hate bees, and i like snow but I dont like being cold.

13. Hugs or kisses? Hugs and kisses, i am constantly hugging and slobbering on my little ones and the hubby.

14. Whats the farthest you have ever been from home? Not very far, i live in va, and i have only been to the surrounding states. So maybe 200 miles from home.

15. Do you have any special talents? Yes, i am very good at turning someone into a zombie, every halloween people tell me i should be a makeup artist in hollywood.

16. Where were you born? Radford Va,

17. What are your hobbies? I like camping, hiking,fishing, watching movies, building furniture with my husband, having zombie parties with my kids, blogging, church, and gaming

18. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a pitbull shar pei mix his name is draven, i have a beagle mixed with i dont know what named daisy may, about 10 cats, and like 15 chickens, all of which are outside animals, except for daisy.

19. Favorite movie? That is a hard one, because we currently have over 700 movies, it really depends on what mood im in, but probably 28 days later.

20. What color is your car? Well we have a red dodgs stratus, a red ford pickup, a black chevy pickup, a black motorcycle, and a blue scooter, and here is the funny part my husband is the only one with a license, i dont have a one, i have never had one.

21. What do you want to be when you grow up? Exactly what i am, a good mom, wife, and person. Well i would also kinda like to own a halloween store.

Thanks for tagging me Sarah, its to bad we dont live closer to each other i could teach you how to shoot a crossbow, lol.
Im now passing on the love and tagging these bloggers if they wanna play.





5. C.K. Hope –





10. GDR-

All you do is answer these questions and tag whoever you want!

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