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Posts tagged “mother

Lost childhood



Lost childhood, this is something i think about quite frequently. Things like where would i be now if i had not wasted so much of my time drinking and doing drugs. you see i started drinking at a very early age. My wonderful mother let me get drunk for the first time at the ripe age of 9. And i loved how it made me feel, from that point on i gradually got worse, and by the age of 15 i had graduated alcoholics anonymous. by the way my mom helped me realize it didnt matter what i did the rest of the week as long as i wasnt drinking the day of my meetings, and that is how i graduated aa. It was a big joke in my family, i was diana their little alcoholic, no kidding that is what they called me, funny huh. I thought it was cool at the time. i never would have thought it would almost cost me my family and my life down the road. So those issues plus developing an addiction to pain pills a couple years after our 10 year old son was born, that equals a lot of wasted time, and missed opportunities. I never got to go to a school dance or prom, never got my license, never had a sweet sixteen party, and never graduated high school. and its not just the missed opportunities that bother me, but also that i thought all of it was normal. All the stupid stuff i saw my parents do, and the things i grew up with seemed normal to me. It wasnt until i met my husband that someone finally told me, hey that is really messed up. i just wish i had listened to him from the beginning, but i didnt i thought he was trying to control me. That was something my mother always used to say, men are only interested in 2 things sex, and controlling you. A part of me wishes i could go back in time and change these things. But the other part of me realizes that i would not be who i am now if i did that. And even though i may not be special or extraordinary by anybody elses standards, for the first time in my life i am very satisfied with myself.

housewives and mothers be proud

images (1)images (2)Before i get started let me just say this is in no way putting down working women if a woman wants to work or has to work then that is what they should do. Now lets get started. I am wondering why so many women are ashamed of the roles that they use to take so much pride in. years ago a woman was proud to say I am a housewife and mother and i am very good at it. Now however if you say i am a houswife and mother a man may look at you with admiration , while a working women will often look at you like you just said hi i am a failure. why do women no longer take pride in staying home to take care of their family? And why are the women that do being devalued by working women? Someone in my family once asked me what i wanted to do with my life, and when i said i wanted to be a housewife and a mother her response kind of shocked me, she said so you wanna lay on your back get knocked up and take it easy. she made it sound as though i had said i wanted to be a prostitute. Now obviously this person was just trying to be hurtful but why? It was like she got offended because i wanted to have a family and stay home to focus on them. And there was the ignorance of saying raising a family is easy. I have worked regular jobs in the past and i promise you to be a good wife and mother is unbelievably harder than going to work. When you take on the job of a stay at home wife and mother you are on call 24/7. If your baby needs a clean diaper you can’t say I’m calling in sick, if your child is hungry you can’t use one of your vacation days. These things don’t exist when you are a homemaker. Working women and anyone else who thinks this is an easy job, just don’t understand how much pressure it is to know that who these little people become is entirely up to you. What and how you teach them determines wether they will be doctors, lawyers, drug addicts or serial killers, to have people that depend on you completely just to stay alive is a huge job. In my opinion one that should be treated with the utmost respect. Someone who devotes their whole life to making sure that the future of our country is raised right with morals and integrity, should be looked up to not looked down on. Well i have told you how hard this job is but let me also say it is incredibly rewarding, to watch your children grow and see that they are good people because you have done your job right. I wouldn’t trade my job for any other in the world. so now you know my opinion you can let me know if you agree or disagree in the comments section. thanks for reading.

Happy Mothers Day

147 (3)Hey everybody,
first just let me say happy mother’s day to all of my wonderful friends and followers on wordpress, and if you are not a mom than happy sunday, Lol. I wanted to write a post for someone very special to me. Most of you have read some of my previous posts about my biological mother and how i feel about her. What you dont know is that, my mother in law just happens to be one of the best mom’s in the world. She has treated me more like a daughter in the 13 years she has known me, than my own mother ever has. She has been there for me ever since the day i met her, whether it was to give me a hug and tell me that she loves me, or to say i love you, but you need to get your act together, because what your doing is wrong. Im sure there have been times when she wanted to strangle me,(thankfully she did not) but even when she was incredibly angry with me for something, i always knew it came from a place of love and motherly concern, i knew from the beginning she was the exact opposite of my mother. These wonderful people that you see in the picture are my mother and father in law. Donnie and Patricia. I have so much respect for both of them, they are amazing people who have helped me and inspired me, more than they will ever know, i love you both so much,and I hope you had a wonderful mothers day today, if anyone deserves it, it is you.
Love your daughter
p.s. Thank you for being the mother that i needed, and that you didnt have to be.

little ones lost

download (10)I lost my daughter in 2008. This poem is to all the mothers who have lost a child, i hope it will bring you some comfort.
What makes a mother? I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today. I asked what makes a mother? And i know i heard him say. A mother has a baby this we know is true. But God can you be a mother when your baby’s not with you? Yes you can, he replied with confidence in his voice. I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice. Some i send for a lifetime, and others for a day, and some i send to feel your womb but there’s no need to stay. I just dont understand this God i want my baby to be here. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, and then i saw a tear. I wish i could show you, what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile with all the other children and say… we go to earth to learn our lessons, of love and life and fear. My mommy loved me oh so much i got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a mom, who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly my mommy set me free. I miss my mommy oh so much, but i visit her every day, and when she goes to sleep, on her pillows where i lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear, mommy dont be sad today im your baby and im near. So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay. Your babies are born in my home, and this is where they’ll stay. They’ll wait for you with me, until your lesson’s through. And on the day you come home, they’ll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a mother, its the feeling in your heart. its the feelings you had so much of right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother, until their time is done. They’ll be up here with me one day and know your the best one!


Baby found in dumpster

The baby in this picture is beautiful isnt he. This little guy is also incredibly lucky to be alive, because you see for some reason his 16 year old mother decided she didnt want him, but instead of giving him up for adoption, she decided it was a much better idea to throw him in a white trash bag along with umbilical cord and afterbirth, tie it up and toss him into the dumpster. Now there are so many aspects of this that break my heart. One thing is that this is so common now a days that you have barely heard a mention of this in the news, its like this stuff happens all the time so its not really news worthy. Another thing that i am furious about is that the article i read said they are trying to decide what the charges will be or if there will be any at all. Are you kidding me? It is pretty friggen obvious to me. This girl tied her baby up in a trash bag and threw him in a dumpster, where if he had not been found he would have either froze to death or suffocated. Can you imagine the fear this baby felt barely being able to breImageath, alone in the dark dumpster, so cold his little hands and feet were probably starting to go numb. And they are not sure if there will be any charges. How about attempted murder, how about you imagine someone did this to your child and then tell me what the charges should be, and How about you dont let this girl get by with this, because you are sending an obvious message to the sickos in the world that this kind of behavior is acceptable, and they will have no consequences. Where is the outrage for this baby who almost lost his life in such a cruel manner, and by the hands of his mother. My God people this is our country why are we not throwing a fit about this kind of stuff. Why are we not protecting the ones who can not protect themselves . How did we get so far gone that these things not only happen now but happen so often that most people barely bat an eye when they hear of it. I cant answer these questions so if any of you have the answers please share them with me.