Look in someons eyes and you can see there soul,
in some you see life and joy, others just a dark hole.
Past mistakes and painful times
they make a mark and leave their lines.
Life gets hard and its easy to lose hope,
But you have to keep trying you cant just sit and mope.
Faith and endurance is what you will need,
Cause this thing called life can be tough indeed.
She doesnt feel pretty she hasnt for a while,
in the mirror when she looks she cant make herself smile.
The time of her beauty has passed her by,
her reflection proves it she starts to cry.
The mirror is no longer her friend,
but when its not near her she can still pretend.
The love of her life enters and says,
the more lovely you get with each day that passes,
if you really cant see this perhaps you need glasses.
You’re my life my love and i’ll tell you whats true,
i see nothing but perfection when i look at you.
She sees herself in his eyes,
and thats when she knows the mirror lies
Today is a not so easy day for me, you see today is my daughters birthday. Her name was Rain Mckayla and she passed away in 2008, if she were still with us she would be 7 years old today. I think about her and miss her every single day of my life but on this day the sadness is much greater. I can imagine all of the things we would be doing right now if she were with us, i would be fixing her hair and getting her ready for her party, where she would make birthday wishes and blow out birthday candles, and i would tell her how much i love her and how beautiful she looks in her birthday dress. But i cant do any of those things and my feelings about that range from extreme anger to unbearable sadness. Which is not easy to handle, so i wrote her a poem and i thought i would share it here.
My darling Rain you were taken from me years ago,
and yes you are in heaven this i know,
but i want you here with me to watch you play and grow,
So many things ill never see,
your sweet little smile or my beautiful daughter climbing a tree,
oh how i wish i could hold your hand and kiss your cheek,
and tell you how much i love you all through the week,
but i will talk to you every night when i pray,
and mommy will come home and be with you again some day.
and though no longer in my arms i will hold you in my heart,
and i promise we’ll never be far apart.
Happy Birthday Rain, mommy and daddy miss you and love you so much.
The easy way in life is getting us nowhere, but it takes away the burden of really having to care.
When the doctor gives you pills instead of fixing the problem, its the easy way out this is the wrong route.
When you get a divorce instead of trying, a part of your soul is simply dyeing .
When your child wants to talk about drugs and you say just wait, then the next day they’re gone and its to late. Feeling sad just take a pill, you wont care anymore lifes not real.
So you see the easy way out is never the solution, it only creates massive confusion.
But retain my memories i would, so i remember what not to do and what i should.
I wish i had always been the person that i am now, but i couldnt back then i didnt know how.
The lies i told i can not count, i wonder will my loved ones always doubt?
So i ask of you this, see me as i am, really see, im not the same as i used to be.
If i let you see who i really am would you try to understand, if i let you see who i really am would you go or would you stand?
If i let you see who i really am would you like me none the less, if i let you see who i really am would you say im just a mess?
I show you who i really am and never waver on whats right, and though my faith may be shaken at times, i will continue to fight.
This is me who i really am, just trying to make things right.
help someone, somehow, somewhere, some day,.
The truth sometimes hard to tell,
but to see the way, you must lift the vail.
So i tell my stories and let you in,
so you’ll know who i am and where i’ve been.
Read my words and learn from my error’s,
addiction is powerful, and creates many terrors.
Life is hard, of this there is no doubt,
but alcohol and drugs lead down the wrong route.
This is my message, take from it what you will,
but i speak the truth, i’ve lived it, i am the real deal.
My smile will never be seen, my laugh will never be heard, they called me a parasite this is absurd.
My mommy decided abortion was best, i wish i had a voice so i could protest.
If i did i would say mommy please dont let me go, this is my life and i want it so,
Please mommy dont take my life away, i like it here and i really wanna stay.
What have i done, and what can i do, its not my fault im inside you.
But a voice i do not have so soon i will die, how could you do this to me mommy please tell me why?
I like it when our day’s not planned,
I like it when you know my thoughts,
I like it that you love me lots,
I like it when you look at me so sweet,
I like it when you ask me to please rub your feet,
I like the life that we have and the love that we share,
Id rather be here with you than anywhere,
I like that you know me inside and out,
I like who you are, of this have no doubt,
But mostly i like the way you make me feel, after 14 years it still seems unreal.
This post is part of SoCS: http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2114/
When i was young i was quite sad, never felt good always felt bad,
i didnt know how to change it and that made me mad, never had a mother just me and my dad.
If not for him i wouldnt be who i am today, so i suppose in the long run its good she went away.
My father is a wonderful man, whenever i said i couldnt he always said you can.
He always worked so hard for me, i didnt know then but now i see.
In my eyes he’s quite a hero, but he believes himself to be a zero.
Many mistakes he has made, but at least he cared, at least he stayed.
I love you dad and i hope you see, just how much you mean to me.