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What happens if you kill yourself

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You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too.  There is help out there

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Question of the day – Refugees / Vets

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Question of the day, how is it we can find housing for thousands upon thousands of refugees coming into this country, but we can’t seem to find housing for the 130,000 to 200,000 veterans who are homeless? Men and women who fought and risked their lives for us, this is such a disgrace!

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Question of the day – What is your favorite scary movie?

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Question of the day what is your favorite scary movie? Mine is 28 weeks later, I think it is the scariest form of zombie that has been created and it is also possible that it could actually happen which makes it even more scary!

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Obama addressing the nation

About to watch Obama on CNN in case anyone else wants to watch it’s on now!


Question of the day – Who would you want to meet?

Today’s question of the day is if you could meet anyone, from any time, who would it be and why? Mine would be Anne Frank, I was amazed with her story from the first time I read it when I was little, and I would love to meet her and tell her how many people her diary will inspire and touch!

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So sick

Hey sorry for not doing my question of the day yesterday but I have been really sick, last night I actually slept with my head on the toilet for a bit! The chic in this picture looks better than I do, I don’t get sick often but when I do it’s baaaad!

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Question of the day – Religious Rights

Today’s question of the day is, why are liberals and Obama so concerned about a Muslims religious rights but they want to take away a Christians?

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Question of the day – Christmas Miracles

Today’s question of the day is, do you still believe that Christmas miracles can happen, or is that a thing of the past?
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Question of the day – Zombies or Vampires

Today’s question of the day is – which is your favorite monster,  zombies or vampires? Yawl already know my favorite, lol!

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Question of the day – Trump or Carson

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Today’s question of the day is this, who do you think would be a better president Donald Trump or Ben Carson and why?


The walking dead

Yay so excited about tonight’s episode but sad to cause it’s going off until February!

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Question Of The Day – What’s Wrong With Women

Today’s question is this,  what’s wrong with some women and why do they get even more stupid as time passes? The pics I posted may help explain the question!

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Happy Late Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving, I definitely did! I spent my day cooking and my son dj helped me for the first time so I really enjoyed that, getting to teach him some of my cooking tricks was a lot of fun for me! But I spent my day with the people I love the most in this world, except my son Dustin he had to work which stunk but it was a great day anyway and I ate way to much, lol! And my amazing husband even helped me clean up afterwards!

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Question Of The Day – Racism

Todays question is this, why is it that if a white person says something like I dont think Obama is a good president, then they are called racist but a black person can call for the murder of innocent white people and that is not considered racist? If you hate someone because of the color of their skin that is racism, whether that color is white, black, yellow, or brown! Every race has the potential to be racist because every race has people within that race that are just flat out stupid! What do yawl think about this, leave a comment and let me know! YouTube-Threats-Against-Whites-Police-640x480-1


Writing Goal

Hey everybody i am trying to get back in the habit of writing something every day but it hasnt been working, so i have decided to start doing a question of the day, and hopefully a lot of people will come by and let me know their thoughts on the topic and it should be easier to get back into writing every day if i have a specific goal!


My Monday Night

So the hubby and I got invited to a benefit banquet for the pregnancy resource center this past monday night, and we really enjoyed it, our church is one of many in this area which donate to them! They are an excellent alternative to planned parenthood where 95 percent of their business is performing abortions, but the pregnancy resource center focuses on really helping women and their unborn babies! It was a great experience and we had a good time! Here is a pic of Darrell and I dropping kids off at his moms house before the banquet, we clean up pretty well I thought, lol!

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Zombies, Spiderman, tinman, and skeleton dude

Some pics of me and my little ones early day Halloween at church and later before trick or treating, I was really lacking in my makeup skills this year!

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Don’t say it if you don’t mean it

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I’m wondering, do people realize when you say something like prayers for France or I’m praying for you, that is not just an expression you are actually supposed to pray for them! I see so many people (especially celebrities) saying they are praying for France but some of them have said that they don’t even believe in God! Prayer is real and you shouldn’t say you are praying for someone if you’re not really going to! Prayers really going out for the people in France, May God be with them!


Clean, Sober, and living my dream

It is amazing to me how much can be accomplished when you have a clear head and arent chasing after your next high. Four years ago i was a drug addict, alcoholic nobody about to lose my family, so if someone had told me where I would be now, I would have called them a liar.
I am no longer addicted to anything but life, God, my family, and maybe my love for riding and our motorcycles, lol. I have been so blessed, much more so then I deserve, of that i am sure! 
My life is everything i always wished for when I was a little girl, I have an amazing husband (without which none of this would be possible) great kids, and im healthy. For me there is just no way things could be any better! Im so unbelievably happy. Here are some pics of my family and our motorcycles.

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Happy Anniversary

Happy anniversary to the man who holds my heart and the love of my life, we have been together for 15 years and I love you more and more with every year that passes.
I love you Darrell.

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Perfection

My husband and I turned my motorcycle into a bobber and I love it so much, it couldn’t be more perfect for me! Here are some before and after pics.

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Garden goodies

Banana peppers, jalapenos, and tomatoes fresh from my garden. They smell so good, gonna be making some salsa tonight!

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So Confused

imagesOkay i am now convinced that Obama will not be satisfied until the U.S.A is blown off the map , what is wrong with this man i mean as if he hasnt screwed up this country enough already now he is doing this nuclear deal with Iran! Why is he still in the white house? Why has he not bean impeached yet? With every day that passes, and every day that he is in power this country is in more and more trouble. Lord help us because who knows what condition our country will be in by the time elections role around.


Im hooked

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I got my motorcycle learners yesterday, passed it on my first try to, and now I am so hooked to riding. I had a blast with my husband yesterday, finally able to ride my motorcycle next to him instead of on the back of one. It was awesome! And just in case anyone is wondering my motorcycles name is Dixie, lol.


Sunday Funday

Takin the motorcycle out in a little while with my hubby, cant wait I love goin riding!

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